Marriage

Some believe that the grass is greener on the other side, but research has proven that grass is green where you water it. If your marriage has a leaking roof, you don’t need a new house, you need a new roof. If it’s toxic, abusive, and there is a threat to your life and your children, the house is on fire—run from it. But if the house simply has a leaking roof, you don’t need a new house; you just need help.

Here are a few ways to help strengthen your marriage by learning to fight better.

Learn to Fight Like a Pro

1. Don’t hit below the belt.
   In a boxing match, a rule is you don’t hit below the belt. In marriage, don’t bring a past issue into a present argument. Don’t raise your voice or your hands, and don’t be sarcastic during a fight.
   
   
2. Don’t hit when they are down.
   In a professional match, you don’t hit the other person when they’re down. I would encourage couples to be aware of this. Words like “never” and “always” shouldn’t be part of your vocabulary when fighting.
   
   
3. Put on gloves.
   Next, make sure you’re equipped. In other words, season your speech with grace. Threatening the other person with divorce is opening the door to a spirit of divorce. Remove divorce from your vocabulary.
   
   
4. Take a timeout.
   In professional boxing, there’s a timeout. Sometimes, you need to reassure the other person, “We’re okay, and we will talk about it tomorrow.” Paul, in Ephesians chapter 4:26, says, “Be angry and do not sin. Do not let the sun go down on your wrath.” Sometimes, it’s important to stay up and fight, but other times you may need to go to bed mad and work it out in the morning.
   
   
5. Submit to the referee.
   It’s important to remember that this is about settling an argument, not winning the argument. You can disagree and be mature people who prefer one another over being right.