August 19th, 2025
by Joel Sosa
by Joel Sosa
Becoming Unoffendable: A Recipe for Spiritual Growth
In a world that seems increasingly divided and quick to take offense, how can we as believers cultivate hearts that are resilient, humble, and focused on God's kingdom rather than our own egos? This question lies at the core of a powerful spiritual journey – one that challenges us to examine our hearts and transform our perspectives.
The concept of being "unoffendable" might seem impossible at first glance. After all, we live in a fallen world where hurt, disappointment, and conflict are inevitable. However, the goal isn't to never feel offended, but rather to develop a Christ-like response when offense comes our way.
Let's explore a simple yet profound recipe for becoming unoffendable:
1. Turn
2. Become
3. Like a Child
These three steps, drawn from Jesus' own teachings, offer a roadmap for spiritual transformation and growth.
Turn
The first step, "turn," is deeply rooted in the biblical concept of repentance. It's not just about saying sorry; it's about a genuine change of heart and direction. When we feel the sting of offense rising within us, we're called to turn towards God rather than allowing bitterness to take root.
This turning is a spiritual act, a choice to align our hearts with God's perspective rather than clinging to our own hurt feelings. It's an acknowledgment that our initial reaction might not be godly, and a willingness to let the Holy Spirit work on our hearts.
Become
The second step, "become," speaks to the ongoing process of sanctification in our lives. We are constantly in a state of becoming more like Christ, and dealing with offense is a crucial part of that journey. This process requires patience, self-reflection, and a willingness to let God do deep work in our hearts.
Consider the story shared about being triggered by someone cutting in line at a fast-food restaurant. While the incident itself seemed minor, it revealed deeper wounds and insecurities that God wanted to address. By allowing ourselves to "become" – to grow and change – we open the door for God to heal those hidden areas of hurt and transform our responses.
Like a Child
The final step in our recipe is perhaps the most challenging and counter-cultural: becoming "like a child." In Matthew 18:1-4, Jesus uses a powerful object lesson to teach His disciples about true greatness in the kingdom of heaven:
"At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, 'Who, then, is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?' He called a little child to him, and placed the child among them. And he said: 'Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.'"
This teaching would have been shocking to Jesus' audience. In their culture, children held no status or importance. Yet Jesus elevates childlikeness as the model for spiritual maturity. But what does it mean to become like a child in this context?
It's about:
- Humility: Not seeking status or recognition
- Trust: Depending fully on our Heavenly Father
- Simplicity: Not being driven by selfish ambition or pride
- Openness: Being teachable and willing to learn
When we adopt this childlike posture, we create space in our hearts for God to work. We're less likely to be offended because we're not constantly jockeying for position or seeking validation from others. Our security comes from our identity as beloved children of God.
The Dangers of Harboring Offense
While the path to becoming unoffendable is beautiful, we must also recognize the serious spiritual dangers of allowing offense to take root in our hearts. Jesus uses strong language to emphasize this point:
"If anyone causes one of these little ones—those who believe in me—to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea. Woe to the world because of the things that cause people to stumble! Such things must come, but woe to the person through whom they come!" (Matthew 18:6-7)
This passage highlights how seriously God takes the unity and spiritual well-being of His children. Harboring offense doesn't just hurt us; it can become a stumbling block for others and hinder the mission of the Church.
The apostle Paul echoes this sentiment in Ephesians 4:26-27: "In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold." Unresolved offense opens the door for the enemy to gain influence in our lives, relationships, and communities.
Practical Steps Forward
So how do we put this recipe into practice in our daily lives? Here are some suggestions:
1. Practice self-awareness: Pay attention to what triggers feelings of offense in you. These moments can reveal areas where God wants to bring healing and growth.
2. Cultivate humility: Regularly remind yourself of your identity as a child of God. This can help combat the pride that often fuels offense.
3. Choose forgiveness quickly: When you feel offended, make a conscious decision to forgive, even before you feel like it. This aligns your heart with God's heart.
4. Seek God's perspective: In moments of conflict or hurt, ask God to help you see the situation through His eyes. This can often diffuse tension and bring clarity.
5. Focus on the mission: Remember that unity in the body of Christ is crucial for effective ministry. Don't let personal offenses distract from the greater purpose God has called you to.
Becoming unoffendable is a lifelong journey, not a destination we suddenly arrive at. It requires consistent turning to God, becoming more like Christ, and embracing childlike faith. As we practice this spiritual recipe, we'll find our hearts becoming more resilient, our relationships deeper, and our witness for Christ more impactful.
Let's challenge ourselves to be people who are quick to forgive, slow to take offense, and always eager to extend the grace and love of Christ to those around us. In doing so, we'll not only experience greater peace and joy in our own lives but also become powerful agents of reconciliation in a world desperately in need of healing.
In a world that seems increasingly divided and quick to take offense, how can we as believers cultivate hearts that are resilient, humble, and focused on God's kingdom rather than our own egos? This question lies at the core of a powerful spiritual journey – one that challenges us to examine our hearts and transform our perspectives.
The concept of being "unoffendable" might seem impossible at first glance. After all, we live in a fallen world where hurt, disappointment, and conflict are inevitable. However, the goal isn't to never feel offended, but rather to develop a Christ-like response when offense comes our way.
Let's explore a simple yet profound recipe for becoming unoffendable:
1. Turn
2. Become
3. Like a Child
These three steps, drawn from Jesus' own teachings, offer a roadmap for spiritual transformation and growth.
Turn
The first step, "turn," is deeply rooted in the biblical concept of repentance. It's not just about saying sorry; it's about a genuine change of heart and direction. When we feel the sting of offense rising within us, we're called to turn towards God rather than allowing bitterness to take root.
This turning is a spiritual act, a choice to align our hearts with God's perspective rather than clinging to our own hurt feelings. It's an acknowledgment that our initial reaction might not be godly, and a willingness to let the Holy Spirit work on our hearts.
Become
The second step, "become," speaks to the ongoing process of sanctification in our lives. We are constantly in a state of becoming more like Christ, and dealing with offense is a crucial part of that journey. This process requires patience, self-reflection, and a willingness to let God do deep work in our hearts.
Consider the story shared about being triggered by someone cutting in line at a fast-food restaurant. While the incident itself seemed minor, it revealed deeper wounds and insecurities that God wanted to address. By allowing ourselves to "become" – to grow and change – we open the door for God to heal those hidden areas of hurt and transform our responses.
Like a Child
The final step in our recipe is perhaps the most challenging and counter-cultural: becoming "like a child." In Matthew 18:1-4, Jesus uses a powerful object lesson to teach His disciples about true greatness in the kingdom of heaven:
"At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, 'Who, then, is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?' He called a little child to him, and placed the child among them. And he said: 'Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.'"
This teaching would have been shocking to Jesus' audience. In their culture, children held no status or importance. Yet Jesus elevates childlikeness as the model for spiritual maturity. But what does it mean to become like a child in this context?
It's about:
- Humility: Not seeking status or recognition
- Trust: Depending fully on our Heavenly Father
- Simplicity: Not being driven by selfish ambition or pride
- Openness: Being teachable and willing to learn
When we adopt this childlike posture, we create space in our hearts for God to work. We're less likely to be offended because we're not constantly jockeying for position or seeking validation from others. Our security comes from our identity as beloved children of God.
The Dangers of Harboring Offense
While the path to becoming unoffendable is beautiful, we must also recognize the serious spiritual dangers of allowing offense to take root in our hearts. Jesus uses strong language to emphasize this point:
"If anyone causes one of these little ones—those who believe in me—to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea. Woe to the world because of the things that cause people to stumble! Such things must come, but woe to the person through whom they come!" (Matthew 18:6-7)
This passage highlights how seriously God takes the unity and spiritual well-being of His children. Harboring offense doesn't just hurt us; it can become a stumbling block for others and hinder the mission of the Church.
The apostle Paul echoes this sentiment in Ephesians 4:26-27: "In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold." Unresolved offense opens the door for the enemy to gain influence in our lives, relationships, and communities.
Practical Steps Forward
So how do we put this recipe into practice in our daily lives? Here are some suggestions:
1. Practice self-awareness: Pay attention to what triggers feelings of offense in you. These moments can reveal areas where God wants to bring healing and growth.
2. Cultivate humility: Regularly remind yourself of your identity as a child of God. This can help combat the pride that often fuels offense.
3. Choose forgiveness quickly: When you feel offended, make a conscious decision to forgive, even before you feel like it. This aligns your heart with God's heart.
4. Seek God's perspective: In moments of conflict or hurt, ask God to help you see the situation through His eyes. This can often diffuse tension and bring clarity.
5. Focus on the mission: Remember that unity in the body of Christ is crucial for effective ministry. Don't let personal offenses distract from the greater purpose God has called you to.
Becoming unoffendable is a lifelong journey, not a destination we suddenly arrive at. It requires consistent turning to God, becoming more like Christ, and embracing childlike faith. As we practice this spiritual recipe, we'll find our hearts becoming more resilient, our relationships deeper, and our witness for Christ more impactful.
Let's challenge ourselves to be people who are quick to forgive, slow to take offense, and always eager to extend the grace and love of Christ to those around us. In doing so, we'll not only experience greater peace and joy in our own lives but also become powerful agents of reconciliation in a world desperately in need of healing.
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